when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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