You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
