I got chris browned last night
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
