the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
