barbara walters just said penis...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
