I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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