I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
