I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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