Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
