Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize