It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
