Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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