I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
