Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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