when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
