He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Randomize
