We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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