have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
