im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
