I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
