Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
