oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
