Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize