Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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