Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
