bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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