Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
