We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
