this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
