his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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