Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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