It was confusing and full of hummus
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
