Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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