so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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