I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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