I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
