Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
