I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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