ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
