Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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