Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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