I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no, he came in my armpit
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
