He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
