i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What a dumb baby whore.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
