We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize