Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
