Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
