why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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