You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
