Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
