how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
