remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize