I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We're too hungover to prance.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
