i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
