and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
