I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
