This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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